Monday, June 15, 2009

Real Life Happens to Other People: Fourteen is not the end!

In Real Life Happens to Other People, Kallo will be supplying information about all aspects of the FFXI community, including whats going on not just in game, but also reporting on new information from all of the different FFXI communities, from podcasts to forums, from blogs to any other kind of online bitching. Kallo considers the not-so-Final Fantasy.

I’m going to be straight with you people.

I did NOT want to write a post about Final Fantasy XIV for this. However, I think things are starting to become dire. If I were to assign a color code to this situation, I’d have to choose blue. Blue doesn’t seem that dire, I know. Let me explain.

The more I hear about Final Fantasy XIV from people who would better serve society with their mouths sown shut...and fingers sewn together – the more I want to tie a giant elastic band around my throat until my head turns blue and I pop like a grape.

So, let’s make it official; the world of Vana’diel is currently in a code Blue.

Now, you’re asking yourself, “What the hell has him in such a damn uproar about Final Fantasy XIV? I thought he was happy about it.” You’re goddamn right I am! It’s the next epic in a long standing series of epics! Fourteen comes after thirteen. SHOCKER! I know. I haven’t felt this buzzed since twelve came after eleven.

Wait a minute! Something came after eleven?! I know! I just blew your freaking mind didn’t I? Eleven…is not the end. Which brings me to the point of today’s article.

This is not the end. Every brother and his mother are screaming from their knees, “What was it all for? Why did I waste my time? Years and years down the drain!”

Yes, yes, we all feel for you. Here take my sympathy with a side order of pity and go join Jack Thompson at the back of the ‘Shut your damn mouth when you’re talking to me’ line.

You really have no idea how ludicrous it is that people are upset at the prospect of a new Final Fantasy MMO. I’m going to explain why, settle down children.

Let’s take a trip back in the time machine for a moment to a time of Giant Swords, Materia and Knights of the Round Table. I did everything there was to do in Final Fantasy 7. Mastered all Materia for all characters. Maxed out all stats to 255 in the Sunken Gelnika. You name it, I conquered it. Guess who believes me? Better yet, guess who cares? Not a damn person. Everyone did it. Or so they say.

When Final Fantasy VIII came out…do you think I shouted for my long lost hours and repented at the sight of the rapture? Hell no. It’s a new Final Fantasy to play!

But, how does this relate to Final Fantasy XI you may be asking. An offline game is so different from an online one! You’re right. You have less of a reason to bitch about an online game. Because people actually see and know of your achievements.

Is a world-famous architect going to spend 10 years building the longest bridge ever created, then and cry about his lost time and effort when someone builds a bigger and better bridge? No. Because he’s not a damn sissy.

Final Fantasy XIV is real. It’s going to happen. You do no have to play it. Final Fantasy XI will remain. So get over yourself, pick which one you want to play, hell, play both! Just shut the hell up about it!

I’ll meet you back here in eight years when they release Final Fantasy XVII.

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