Monday, September 21, 2009

Morning in Vana'diel: The Chocobo Revolution Has Begun!

Morning in Vana'diel is your daily dose of FFXI and all things Vana'diel. Give us your thoughts on the interesting topics of the day! Apparently, it's all a ruse by the Chocobo Liberation Front.

Apparently, I raised someone's ire with my belief in the fundamental goodness and cuteness of all Chocobo. While I would like to believe that they are nothing more than our awesome companions that require no maintenance and are just there for our riding pleasure, there is an undercurrent of resentment and revolt building.

Our Eye in Einherjar provides this exclusive report:

Chocobos are not cute, they are the opposite of cute. They sit there looking so fucking innocent but you just of these days they will turn on us all! They can only take so much chauffeuring your lazy asses around, and then one day someone will be cruising along la-di-da and then bam! The chocobo will stop and you go flying into a huge fucking tree...the chocobo then bashes your face in with it's beak and eats your brains!

The chocobo revolution has begun. Next thing you know there are chocobos with swords and shit all up in Jeuno and Whitegate just killin bitches not looking back! Stomping little bitch ass tarus...hangin mithras up by their tails...ignoring the humes cause seriously who would role play a hume lul...chopping off those fucking pointy elvaan ears and running around pretending to be Spock...Gutting those fat ass galka bitches and wearing them as fur coats...when it's all said and done we'll be the ones waiting at the tele crystals and at the gates waiting to take the chocobos wherever they need to be.

Our reporter just left a cryptic signature "B to the G", likely because he is afraid that his expose will make him one of the first targets of the Chocobo Revolution™.

1 comment:

Blake said...

I'm sure I have an alibi for when that was posted, I just can't think of one at the moment...