Thursday, July 09, 2009

Don't Break The Shadowbind!: The Thin Line of Responsibility.

Don't Break the Shadowbind! is our Wednesday column brought to you by Omoikitte. Endgame isn't just killing mobs and splitting up the drops, that is the easy part. Omoikitte will provide her insight on how to do the hard part: the administration and planning of events, deciding on how to divvy up the drops, and how to deal with that one whiny LS member that just won't shut up about their abjuration. Today, Omoikitte reflects on what it takes to be a good leader besides lots of shouting and loot whoring.

Its a funny thing, being a linkshell leader. I mean, sure you might have started out with noble, or spurious intentions, depending on your character stock, but look where it has gotten you now.

I know when I started out, it was more of a vague saunter than any real predisposition to want to lead an endgame linkshell, curiosity and slight amusement at the request to spearhead the linkshell "because all the good linkshells have female leads" - Lordlotuskiller, was the primary spur behind investing this amount of time into Versus.

I didn't really know what I was getting into at all, certainly nothing would have made be believe where it has lead me to now. Some of it is definately for the better, I can't help but feel that some of it however has been to the detriment of my personal character.

I used to have an almost undentable belief in the best of people, regardless of the situation, I would always find some reason or way to allow the mitigating circumstance of their life to influence my reflections and handling of situations and currents around problems or issues.

I am definately more jaded now, something that leaves me feeling sad and a little wistful for times gone past. I am sure there are those of you who whole-heartedly believe that its time I grew up and lived in the "real world", but honestly, the real world is only what you make it to be and nothing more. If you expect ghosts and hostility in every action, you will find it.

I still do strive to maintain a balance between fairness and resonable responsibility when approached with matters that require my attention, I don't think I am always successful in that but the willingness to engage is still there. I definately am more prone to be a shade more cynical about things these days though.

Running the linkshell has given me an excellent grounding in a practical work ethic I have found. The need to constantly be prepared to deal with a lot of difficult situations, personalities and records for so long consistently and effectively to instil confidence has instilled in me a deep need to be honest and scrupulous about my dealings with other people, whether in life or online, at the end of the day it is still a living, breathing human being with feelings, thoughts and emotions that you can stir to happiness or tear down. Words are still words whether spoken behind someone's back at the water cooler, or over an online game, they can quicken the pulse and emotion like no other, as much as we would like to disassociate ourselves, words DO affect us. Why wouldn't they, it is a fundamental method of communication?

The longer the linkshell runs, the harder I find it to ever really get time to not be responsible, there is no break from me, I can't sit back and do something else, without feeling as though I am letting other people down. Perhaps this is down to pride as well as my own crazy stubborness, for those less well ken, it would be assumed to be an addiction that I am unable to let go of and that this is unhealthy, maybe it is unhealthy, I CAN go out if something specific takes place, like dinner with my sister, or a BBQ at work. But I can't sit there and read a book at home knowing that my linkshell is doing events. That to me as a leader feels irresponsible to the duty that I agreed to shoulder, however unwittingly when I agreed to sign up for leadership of Versus.

If you do this, don't expect to be the same person who went into it at the beginning. It will change you, the question is whether it is for better or for worse, and whether you chose to embrace these lessons learned.


Khrone said...

"The longer the linkshell runs, the harder I find it to ever really get time to not be responsible, there is no break from me, I can't sit back and do something else, without feeling as though I am letting other people down."

Unfortunately, I've been having the same experience/feeling lately. I currently run a sky LS that I've belonged to for almost a year now and I REALLY feel obligated to be there EVERY night (4 nights a week for 5 hours per night. As one of my RL friends told me: "Dude, that's a JOB, not a GAME")

A couple weeks ago I was just too burned out and told everyone I wouldn't be up in sky that night but to go ahead and farm/kill gods without me... but then found out the next day that only about 10-12 people actually ended up showing, and only for about 3 hours too. T.T Apparently members don't like showing up when the head-honcho isn't gonna be there.

I'm lucky enough to have a few members that will help out every night with organizing smaller groups for various tasks or helping with attendance or contacting buyers etc... but when it comes down to making executive decisions of "ok, we're doing 2 Kirin's, 2 Genbu's and 2 Suzaku's tonight... I need you on this job, you on this job, you and you on this job...", I kinda feel all alone.

Yeah yeah, you're all probably thinkin "suck it up, chief" but it's startin to wear me out. The other night we took out a Byakko and got a Haidate and N Hands, so I collect the gil and start to invite the buyers into the alliance... and I ended up disbanding my party (yeah, sleep deprivation affects your ability to see and think straight). Thank GOD I was not the alliance leader at the time and we didn't end up losing the drops. XD

Anyways, back to the original point... so, do you have like a Vice President to step in for you when you can't be around to lead? Or do you just hope your LS members are experienced enough that they can run themselves unleashed for a night or two?

Omoikitte said...

Actually, I am in a somewhat similar position, lol unless I specifically state that others need to pull up the slack, the ls would quite literally sit around for 45mins and do nothing except fidget.

I have 2 other leaders who help me out, but they don't really do much on the admin side, and more are there for keeping the ship on the straight and narrow at events.

Mostly the linkshell runs around me being there, attendance does have a tendancy to wane when I can't make events, which is on the one hand nice, and on the other hand kind of frustrating, LOL it would be nice if I was just a guide rather than a prod.